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Some lovely, corny Shakespearean Twitter humor for you today.

You’re welcome.

(View separately.)

I have a dream of attending theaters that crack down on problematic cellphone users. I have a dream of visiting Austin, Texas, someday, too. These dreams may merge into one holy experience if I can ever make it over to the Alamo Drafthouse. Check out this angry, uncensored voicemail they got:

Wry, intelligent humor from the July/August issue of The Atlantic:

Newly Conventional Ideas That Were Once Unthinkable
You might have slept with Tiger Woods
There’s a Ford in your future
Your mom is too cool for Facebook
Republicans to Democrats: Hands off our Medicare!
Russians suck at winter sports
Gay marriage
Inspector Clousseau: Mossad agent
The white minority
Eliot Spitzer, public figure

Progressive Congressman Promotes Bill in 7/8 Time

I loves me some Onion Radio News pretty much every day, but it tickles my fancy even deeper when it mentions odd time signatures and wah wah pedals. The music geek inside of me is very happy. And the political geek.

You say you don’t know Doyle Redland of the Onion Radio News? Click the above link now immediately right away soon ASAP stat this very second! And subscribe to the podcast! Doyle Redland is the best curmudgeonly fake newscaster on this planet!

What is 7/8 time, you say? It’s the time signature used for Money by Pink Floyd, from the album Dark Side of the Moon.

Question for y’all: Are there other popular songs in 7/8?