bloggie blog

I have Jury Duty and am going Off The Grid. Catch you on the flip side, daddy-o.

Recently, the United States Postal Service sent out a leaflet about fraud, fraud’s warning signs and how to help stop fraud. Dear actor, I want to help stop fraud. Under the heading YOU CAN AVOID BECOMING A VICTIM OF FRAUD the Post Office published a list of warning signs:

1. Sounds too good to be true.
2. Pressures you to act “right away.”
3. Guarantees success.
4. Promises unusually high returns.
5. Requires an upfront investment — even for a “free” prize.
6. Buyers want to overpay you for an item and have you send them the difference.
7. Doesn’t have the look of a real business.
8. Something just doesn’t feel right.

Now, the sixth item on this list is such an enormous red flag, that even actors don’t fall for it. Otherwise, the other 7 are commonly seen in actor-related services, and more particularly in the promotional materials actors receive. In fact, I’d dare say that a good 3 out of 8 warning signs can be found in a majority of emails that are sent to actors to promote actor-related services in this town.

Fraud, fear and falsehood. Ponder these things, dear actor, ponder.

“Cinema is the most beautiful fraud in the world.”
—Jean-Luc Godard

Tuesday, October 5, 2010, was Bow Tie Tuesday! Of course it was, you say, just like every first Tuesday of the month. Of course.

I celebrated several hours, sporting a couple of bow ties throughout the day, posting a pic or two on the Twitter. In case you missed the bow-tie fun, here are two pictures of my ties, plus a Tweet from @kelseylink and one from @kayemjay6.

I hate them. They are ugly. They advertise garbage, including acting and VO resources for the stupid. They take up parking spaces, or — grrr — some drive during rush hour, worsening traffic. You hate them, too, all of you except for my readers who are soulless.

Well. All we need to do is follow San Francisco’s lead, but from Ban Billboard Blight we learn that it’s been 2 years and 17 days since it came up in LA City Council. See Mobile Billboards: Bringing More Air Pollution, Traffic Congestion, Parking Problems.

Let us pray for progress. In addition to problems of pollution and other inefficiencies, there’s the visual vexation of blight. I moved here from Boston and the better aesthetics of driving around most larger streets there is something I haven’t forgotten yet.

After several days away, I am back in Los Angeles and happy to be here. I am refreshed. I am enjoying the weather. I have some good things here for which I am grateful, including lovely visits with 2 lovely friends. And I did not spend years of my life on Lost. All good.

The Hollywood Walk of Fame is one of Los Angeles’s best known tourist attractions. In fact, it’s way up there as far as sidewalks go. (Really, is there a more famous sidewalk in the world?) Now, I’m not one to hit up the tourist traps, but the Walk of Fame is one of few touristy things I’ve done. Inadvertently. If walking to a store counts as doing something touristy. This is because in my old apartment and my new one, I live(d) within walking distance of the Walk.

Spanky McFarland used to be the closest star to my pad. His star is at the very western end of the Walk, where La Brea Ave and the north side of Hollywood Blvd meet. Now Franklin Pangborn is closest to me, as his star is at on the east side of Vine St at Sunset Blvd. Both faces I know fondly, but the latter’s name is less well known — unless you love Preston Sturges movies. You watch Preston Sturges movies, you love them. This is a simple, reliable formula (with the exception of The Great Moment, which is a yawner, despite dealing with a worthy, historical subject).

While Franklin Pangborn also did multiple Jack Benny films and multiple W.C. Fields films, I think Sturges withstands the test of time better. So if you happen to be wanting to watch some great old movies, let me recommend the following Preston Sturges films that have Franklin Pangborn in them: Sullivan’s Travels, Hail the Conquering Hero, Christmas in July. These are not Sturges’s best three, but they’re good, and better than The Great Moment, which also happens to have Franklin Pangborn in it. The one film on this list of 3 that I need to watch again, and have been wanting to watch for months now even since a friend said I remind her of Joel McCrea, is Sullivan’s Travels. Off to the library to rent me a DVD!

As of this week, I am now driving a new car (new to me). It’s called Al. It’s a Nissan Altima, and although the official color is gray, it’s kind of a bluish gray, so Al is “blue steel.”

Anyway, Al has a keyless entry thing. If my fob is on my person, I can get in or open the trunk or start the car, just by pushing a button. You cannot. The button is just sitting there, but if you walk up to it and push it, nothing happens. If I walk up to it and push it, I’m in. You push it, you are zapped dead.

I feel like a member of a secret society! And yes, I just said, “If my fob is on my person.”

As you may recall, I turned in my old car on Monday. I’m getting another car Saturday morning, leaving me with five days of carlessness in between. In LA.

A few observations:

1. It’s been pretty damn hot this week. Much sweating, much swearing.
2. I’m glad I had a free 5-day pass, one that they give out pretty liberally to people new to town.
3. Boardings: subway, 2; bus, 17.
4. Walking: too much given No. 1 above. But it’s good for me, so no biggie.
5. Rides mooched: 1.
6. Meetings late to: 1. Meetings missed: 2.

It’s the last one that’s the killer. And ultimately unacceptable. You have to allot too much time for early or late buses, is what it comes down to. And sometimes you have to wait in full sun. And those GD motorcycle drivers are such D-bags. And you have to pay close attention the entire time you’re waiting for a bus, keeping an eye for the next bus; those MFers will drive right past you otherwise. It’s just not right.

Sure, some routes are easy-peasy, maybe even easier than riding a car, especially if it involves only the subway, but the pricing scheme in LA is too steep — transfers are not free! Too steep except for long-term passes, so the system discourages casual use. Another huge problem. If I could change the world….

As of today, I do not have a car. I bid farewell to Saabie Saab, a lovely leased 2007 Saab 9-3 that I returned today. I then took the bus / subway / feets back home.

I was carless a few days right before I got Saabie Saab and the world has changed since then in one important way: Google Maps for iPhone now has excellent public-transportation options for Los Angeles. I used it more than once today. I’ll use it again tomorrow. The next car is a few days away still, so until then I am (a) Greener Than Thou and (b) grateful for Google.

On Saturday, I had took a delightful drive through the San Fernando Valley, those northern reaches of the endless city of Los Angeles. The drive was delightful because of my companion. I should start there, yes, indeed I should. Anyway, we crossed a prominent street in the Valley called Oxnard Street. Also, there is a town here in southern California called Oxnard. The word Oxnard is not a good word.

In a previous life, when I lived in San Diego and worked for Hewlett-Packard in the northern reaches of that endless city, my work address was Rancho Bernardo Road. Again with the n-a-r-d. Some people, as I understand it, are fond of the name Bernardo for various literary reasons. “Pshaw!” I say. It’s hideous, absolutely hid-jus, at least when you are introduced to it by the street namers of San Diego. An horrifying proliferation of Bernardo’s exists there. Look it up on Google maps: West Bernardo Drive, Bernardo Center Drive, Rancho Bernardo Road, Bernardo Court, Bernardo Heights Parkway, and on and on. Enough with the nards!

Thanks for listening. May your Labor Day be nard-free.