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Article Four in my occasional series on things that many people in Hollywood talk about as if they weren’t true of other businesses or other cities. (For more, see Part I, Part II and Part III.)

Things about The Biz and LA that are not unique, #4
If you are over the age of X, you need to worry about looking younger

Sorry about the “X” factor, but it’s hard to put an exact number on it. Some say if you’re over 25, you face this concern in Hollywood. Same say 30. Some say late 30s. Whatever the number is doesn’t change the fact that there is a number where things shift statistically, and beyond that number the nature of finding work changes. Some find that number to work in their favor, but many do not. I could talk about age in the acting profession at some length, but that’s not the topic of this article. This article is about the fact that job seekers in lots of other industries face a concern over age as well.

My post today was inspired directly by a blog post titled Take 10 Years Off Your Image. It’s aimed at jobs that have nothing to do with acting or anything remotely connected to it — but how apt the title is. I think most people in Hollywood would like to take 10 years of their image. I know youngsters who wish they could do that! And of course, I have also met some people who do not feel that way because they know they’re in their sweet spot, and/or they are generally contented individuals.

Speaking of the latter option, one online job discussion board was discussing this article, and the following wisdom struck me:

These [ideas to take 10 years off your image] could be useful if you are desperate for a job and need every advantage, but another philosophy is simply trying to be yourself, with honesty and integrity — you might not land as many jobs, but you may be happier and more well suited with the job you do land.

Read the article. Now! Do that while I … uh … go to the gym. Okay, honestly? And that whole integrity thing? Okay, the truth is that I might just do a few pushups here at home instead. Or watch “Family Guy.”

I remember a sense of bewilderment when I went to my first Trader Joe’s many years ago — somewhere north of San Diego, maybe in Poway or Rancho Bernardo? It seemed like a place for twig-munching, wine-sipping hippies, and I wasn’t any of those things. My view of food has shifted a lot since then. The shift is a familiar path you might have taken, too: less and less McDonald’s, more and more twigs. But for the first time ever, I’m cursing TJ’s all week long. Gasp! I know! “Gasp!” is the right reaction to the headline of this post. But … it’s not really Joe’s fault, it’s more about carbonation.

Here’s the thing. Due to my unpredictable, voice-oriented career, I’ve kept bottles of water in my trunk for a long time now — not to use all the time, but when I forget to hydrate and I need a backup stat! Tuesday, I happened by a TJ’s as I hurried, parched, to a commercial audition, so I ran in and grabbed the first thing I could find: a case of Trader Joe’s Sparkling Mineral Water. Bad move. Every single one of these large bottles makes an enormous mess whenever I open it, no matter how cautious I am — and no matter how long my car has been stationary. Yup, I even tried opening one first thing in the AM. And the “lime” taste is only meh, anyway. So, back to plain bottled water. And back to Trader Joe’s … I have a long, long grocery list of many favorites I’m out of!

I was thrilled to see a Breaking Bad billboard the other day. I hate billboards, generally speaking, so there was that. But I love Breaking Bad!

My love of BB had actually caused me to stop watching the show. You know, keep a few episodes on the TiVo because watching them all means it’s over, and you don’t want it to end. So now, in glorious anticipation of season 3, I have plunged into the end of season 2.

Episode 11 starts with horrifying violence from a youth. Dear lord, I hope New Mexico doesn’t have such horrible murderous children. As for the rest of it, let me just say this: “Bob Odenkirk!!!!!! Anna Gunn prego singing — schwing!!!!!!”

Episode 12: Whoa. More Krysten Ritter!!!!!! and more John de Lancie!!!!!! Then there was the me watching the very end saying, “Holy sh*t.” Whoa.

Episode 13, episode the last: It starts with the B&W montage that reminds me once again of Sunset Boulevard, a montage we’ve seen a few variations of throughout the season. It is awesome. Perhaps you have to be into the show to know it’s awesome, like viewing a subtle work of art you might pass by at the museum if you didn’t see on the plaque that it’s by Famous Artist. This montage of doom segues into an opening scene of more death. It’s grisly. And it’s an awesome season finale.

And now … I await season 3. Bring it! (And please use actual element symbols for every credited named. Michael Slovis deserves as much.) Season 3 happens on Sunday the 21st!

I normally would have sent out another milestone email, but I didn’t actually send it. Here it is:

Hey, it’s been a while since I last sent out a message to my list. Did you miss me? You did? Aw, shucks.

Getting to good news quickly: I shot an episode of 24. Working on the well-known Fox drama was a great experience, and my episode should air the first week in May. As a reporter I query somebody about something. (I won’t say more to avoid spoiling the plot … but trust me, I could.)

Other highlights include moving to a sweet new pad, sitting next to a friend while his Super Bowl ad aired, playing a doctor on a TLC show called Your Kid Ate What?, shooting some short films, and — oh yeah — singing in a chorus with Ray Davies of The Kinks. Good stuff!

So. Enough about me. What about you? I haven’t heard from you in a while. Yes, I mean you. Let me know what you’re up to. Don’t make me come to your house with my camera crew to find out — I only play a reporter on TV.

Best,

Kevin

Okay. Facebook knows I’m a man, Facebook knows I’m single and Facebook knows I’m interested in women. Therefore, Facebook knows I am attracted to women with balloons in their shirts. Not well-endowed natural goodness, but actual balloons. The evidence is the looping image to the right of some ads I’ve seen recently on my profile.

(If your web browser is set not to show the loop of an animated GIF image file, you’re missing out on 5 out of 6 pairs of balloons in the animated image to the right.)

To be fair, once in a while the ad will have a normal woman and simply say Attractive Single Women. Once in a while. But I have posted this because it makes me laugh, and because I want Facebook users with different profiles from mine to see what ridiculous photos are being used to entice me to some lame dating site.

Single men can’t surely be the only target of laughable ads. What weird stuff do you see in your Facebook ads that I might not know about?