bloggie blog

Dear America, here is our sympathy card for you. No meaningful discussion or critical analysis will be offered, because we know you don’t want that. Instead, please tune in for plenty of trite soliloquies, a fair amount of inane verbal sparring between egocentric loudmouths, and a whole crapton of deeply felt maudlin blather. Signed, the “news.”

I got a robocall from (269) 768-2217 and when I asked to be put on their Do Not Call list, they hung up on me. Pure evil. Be warned! Do not answer! Wish I hadn’t!

I have Jury Duty and am going Off The Grid. Catch you on the flip side, daddy-o.

Recently, the United States Postal Service sent out a leaflet about fraud, fraud’s warning signs and how to help stop fraud. Dear actor, I want to help stop fraud. Under the heading YOU CAN AVOID BECOMING A VICTIM OF FRAUD the Post Office published a list of warning signs:

1. Sounds too good to be true.
2. Pressures you to act “right away.”
3. Guarantees success.
4. Promises unusually high returns.
5. Requires an upfront investment — even for a “free” prize.
6. Buyers want to overpay you for an item and have you send them the difference.
7. Doesn’t have the look of a real business.
8. Something just doesn’t feel right.

Now, the sixth item on this list is such an enormous red flag, that even actors don’t fall for it. Otherwise, the other 7 are commonly seen in actor-related services, and more particularly in the promotional materials actors receive. In fact, I’d dare say that a good 3 out of 8 warning signs can be found in a majority of emails that are sent to actors to promote actor-related services in this town.

Fraud, fear and falsehood. Ponder these things, dear actor, ponder.

“Cinema is the most beautiful fraud in the world.”
—Jean-Luc Godard

I hate them. They are ugly. They advertise garbage, including acting and VO resources for the stupid. They take up parking spaces, or — grrr — some drive during rush hour, worsening traffic. You hate them, too, all of you except for my readers who are soulless.

Well. All we need to do is follow San Francisco’s lead, but from Ban Billboard Blight we learn that it’s been 2 years and 17 days since it came up in LA City Council. See Mobile Billboards: Bringing More Air Pollution, Traffic Congestion, Parking Problems.

Let us pray for progress. In addition to problems of pollution and other inefficiencies, there’s the visual vexation of blight. I moved here from Boston and the better aesthetics of driving around most larger streets there is something I haven’t forgotten yet.

As you may know, Los Angeles has a blight problem: too many billboards. As a counterexample, Santa Monica is a much better city today than it would be if it had LA’s lax billboard laws. Imagine Ocean Blvd done up like the Sunset Strip. Ick! But back in LA, the latest looming evil is projection billboards. Recently, an evil corporation ran tests projecting ads on the sides of large buildings at night.

Oh look, we’ve become the hellish future portrayed by Phillip K. Dick, author of the book Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, which 27 years ago was the basis for the movie Blade Runner. Dick is turning over in his grave, and crazy replicants like Sean Young the actress not Sean Young’s character may as well be on the loose all over this town. Run, people, run!

You know about the NYT article last week that got the hefty-bonuses story started. It made me extremely upset, and somebody prominent called the year’s bonuses “shameful.”

But you know all that. What you might not know is that my brilliant friends from Massachusetts, triplet performance artists called Triiibe, went to Wall Street a few months back with this intriguing guerilla performance piece on the topic. They stand there asking for dough, in a carefully stylized performance. It’s great. Check it out!

The first negative thing I noticed about LA was the billboard blight. To be sure, I didn’t think of the word “blight” right away, but as soon as I saw it used in the title of a blog dedicated to the issue, I knew it was the right word for the problem. It is an issue I am committed to taking action on. I’ve already called my councilmember on this matter, for instance, and I never do that sort of thing.

Now it’s gotten worse, with tenants’ lives put at risk in case of fire. Emergency exits are blocked by enormous vinyl ads. These aren’t exactly billboards, but they are wrong! The LA Times has finally spoken up, with a clear, concise editorial urging the mayor to act now. Heed them, Mr. Villaraigosa. It’s a question of good and evil. It’s one important and obvious way to make this city better — and better looking.

This is the first full day of our new president, and it’s an exciting new era, but I’d like to look back and observe that George W. Bush issued fewer pardons than any other 2-term modern president. I congratulate him and thank him very earnestly in this regard. Clinton left office in a flurry of pardons — 140 on his last day, almost as many as all of Bush’s — and that flurry included the pardoning of Marc Rich, an immoral act if there ever was one.

With GWB, some were hoping for pardons for Ted Stevens (barf) and Roger Clemens (poor baby). Others were hoping for massive pardons of everyone involved in torture (such shame). Where these hopers are disappointed, I am elated. Never a fan of the extent to which presidents can pardon, I am quite glad indeed. Thanks, Bush 43! I disagreed with most everything you did, but on this account, I thank you!

Over the past days, we’ve watched A Christmas Story and It’s a Wonderful Life, staples of the holiday. Watching Jimmy Stewart and Lionel Barrymore was different this time, in light of our current economy and the way its woes are connected to housing, and it really got me thinking. Maybe in the past I noticed the romance more, or nostalgia. Not this time. No nostalgia, that’s for sure, given how current it seemed.

Our economic woes were on my mind and particularly the greed and gains of many key players. I swear, most of the people who are to blame got rich in the process. And don’t forget their employees who figuratively push them around in their wheelchairs, watching silently as they steal an uncle’s and nephew’s life.

Though I’ve seen It’s a Wonderful Life many times, I noticed something for the first time yesterday. In the montage where we learn about brother Harry’s war heroism and George’s homefront duties, we see George spit at somebody. From Stewart’s reaction, it’s clear he only spat on himself. What a contrast between the plight of a good soul, and the life of Potter, George Bush, bad mortgage pushers, and so many other people on this planet whose shit don’t stink. Good people spit and they spit on themselves. They wisely abstain from buying that house, they don’t get bailed out by the government but end up bailing out the foolish and the evil. Or, back to the movie, they lose a few thousand dollars and they’re bound for jail, but not so the stealer of those thousands. He’s miserable, but there’s no further ramifications — how much more black can Potter get? None more black. A good way to avoid jail on this planet is to lose/bilk millions or billions, not thousands. Be bad through and through, don’t be a good person who makes a mistake. Same with murder. Kill one person or a handful, go to jail. Be responsible for the deaths of tens of thousands of people, and you’ll never even see a trial. I’m talking to you, Rumsfeld. And McNamara. And so many others.

I stepped out during the time where George goes to throw himself off a bridge. I couldn’t watch the whole thing — which has happened before because it felt too corny, too dated, too hackneyed or some completely different reason. Sure, I know that for me there are no George Baileys, no idyllic towns like Bedford Falls, no guardian angels. But there are plenty of Potters out there, and their wheelchair pushers. And tramps like Vi.

Enough! It’s the holidays, and I’m not letting these things get me down — now that I’ve gotten it off my chest. Thanks for listening. Back to joy, snow, family, food, and many other good things in this life of ours, this life that’s … you know … what’s the word? Exactly.