bloggie blog

Dear America, here is our sympathy card for you. No meaningful discussion or critical analysis will be offered, because we know you don’t want that. Instead, please tune in for plenty of trite soliloquies, a fair amount of inane verbal sparring between egocentric loudmouths, and a whole crapton of deeply felt maudlin blather. Signed, the “news.”

I joined Twitter 1,000 days ago in January of 2008. When did you join? Oh, I see — after I did. That’s okay, don’t feel badly. We couldn’t all be Livia’s co-workers back in the day.

Anyway, in honor of my longer-than-thou time on the Twitter, I post a few favorites, a handful of Tweets Gone By.

I like a nice, clean tweet.

Burgers and more!

When people encounter new information, facts may not be as important as beliefs.

I don’t #MM, #WW or #FF. But I might start doing #TT and #SS just for the ambiguity factor.

Jonathan Coulton’s excellent cover of Baby Got Back and his original song Code Monkey have been favorites of mine for years. Recently, I have undertaken a project of listening to more of his songs in order to find another gem. I may have found it in Town Crotch.

My “undertaking” has simply been to listen to Thing a Week in its entirety. I recommend it to you, and what could be easier? The free 52-week podcast by the creative force who calls himself JoCo is still available on iTunes. Let me know if there’s a “thing” of his that you think is better than the 3 I mention here!

Wry, intelligent humor from the July/August issue of The Atlantic:

Newly Conventional Ideas That Were Once Unthinkable
You might have slept with Tiger Woods
There’s a Ford in your future
Your mom is too cool for Facebook
Republicans to Democrats: Hands off our Medicare!
Russians suck at winter sports
Gay marriage
Inspector Clousseau: Mossad agent
The white minority
Eliot Spitzer, public figure

An open letter to James C. Taylor, host of Theatre Talk on KCRW:

Dear Mr. Taylor,

Your insight and coverage are commendable. I listen regularly for valuable commentary on the American theater. There is one important thing you should know about the English language, however. The phrase “Theatre Talk” has four syllables when spoken aloud.

Respectfully,

Kevin Ashworth

Progressive Congressman Promotes Bill in 7/8 Time

I loves me some Onion Radio News pretty much every day, but it tickles my fancy even deeper when it mentions odd time signatures and wah wah pedals. The music geek inside of me is very happy. And the political geek.

You say you don’t know Doyle Redland of the Onion Radio News? Click the above link now immediately right away soon ASAP stat this very second! And subscribe to the podcast! Doyle Redland is the best curmudgeonly fake newscaster on this planet!

What is 7/8 time, you say? It’s the time signature used for Money by Pink Floyd, from the album Dark Side of the Moon.

Question for y’all: Are there other popular songs in 7/8?

I was standing on the street this morning as the delivery guy stocked up one of those little newspaper containers ¹ on the sidewalk. I saw it was The Onion, so I grabbed a copy and found a funny thing I read therein that I just gotta share, what with me being from Boston and also familiar with Shakespeare.

There’s an article about Stephon Marbury being new to the Celtics and engaging in a “Shakespearean intrigue” with the big trio of Garnett, Pierce and Allen. Shakespearean in language more than plot. I think it’s hilarious to imagine these guys going at it in iambic pentameter. Check out the soliloquy:

“I shall of these three fools now make my purse,” Marbury was heard to say after the game, although he appeared to be addressing no one and perhaps spoke only to himself. “These stars are of a free and open nature, / And think men honest that but seem to be so, / And will as tenderly be led by the nose / As asses are.”

Just read the whole thing. Thanks again, Onion. You brighten my day frequently with your fake news. Plus, your crosswords are excellent.

Possible Facebook status update for the first day of 2009: “Kevin predicts chicks, flicks, pics — and Styx! — in MMIX.”

If you pronounce the Latin right, that sentence really kicks. Otherwise, nix.